Leoshine, Princess Oracle, Book One of the Leoshine Series has been edited within an inch of her life! So much so that I don’t recognise parts that I wrote!
There have been many beta readers besides Marcia Laycock, Christina Petre and Colleen McCubbin who have put their professional stamp on the manuscript.
Perhaps it is reading my story in the beautiful Minion Pro font that you helped to choose for Leoshine. It brings new things to life that I didn’t know were in there.
For instance, when Leoshine is nervous her hand grips the pendant that she receives early in the story. I recently discovered that she grips her mother’s neckline, Iliana’s neckline, and her own in preparation for gripping the necklace. The habit is well formed long before she gets something round and knobbly to comfort her.
The next example is the heavy boxes Avram seems to be constantly putting into Leoshine’s hands.
In the next instant, ao Kevath towered over her, holding the box out. Like the previous evening, she responded by instinct. This time she was prepared for the weight. He smiled down at her. Staring into his eyes, she felt a jolt shudder down to her toes. “Myxolidia for the Myxolidian.” His tongue struggled but his eyes were earnest. “We keep in our chamber.”
Leoshine, Princess Oracle by N. Maccameron
She stumbles over them until she receives the greatest treasure of all:
“This box, still containing the sacred book, weighed her hands even further.”
Avram talking about Leoshine in Princess Oracle by N. MacCameron
In this sentence we have the history of Leoshine receiving dirt over and over again, each box weighing her hands down. Suddenly she receives God’s Word and it is the heaviest of all.
When Curtstas, Leoshine’s father returns from his trip to meet Avram, he institutes some reforms. One directly affects Leoshine’s body image and in the end leaves her feeling exposed and naked. I was surprised when I read this passage where she meets her father in Avram’s world and he has shaved his beard:
“Father! Your beard!” Leoshine reached out to him. Her heart bounded in its cage. Then she blushed and covered her chest. Father rubbed his chin. His eyes slid out the sides of their sockets to glimpse Iliana. “Yes. It will grow back. It’s just to welcome ao Kenan Iliana.”
Leoshine and her father in Leoshine, Princess Oracle by N. maccameron
Isn’t it interesting how they both feel naked. They are trying to fit into Aeolian culture that is supposed to be so beneficial. Yet they feel how it takes away from them.
This is the first book in the series where two cultures clash at the end of a chain of generated atmospheres. Everyone thinks what they are doing is best. Curtstas recognises the benefit of what the other people are doing. Leoshine struggles to make the other people aware of the good in her people.
We all have treasure to give and receive from each other!